Chushpan Simulator

Я так и не смог стать настоящим чушпаном.... А вы хотите стать настоящим чушпаном? Хотите проникнуться романтикой улицы и самостоятельной жизни? Я вот хотел, но, видимо, хотел слишком многого. Интересная игра, скажу я вам: отличная графика, шикарные диалоги, прекрасный мувмент и оптимизация уровня Doom Eternal (если что, я перечислил то, чего там нет). Я побегал по игре, нашёл там кое-какой сюжет — он, конечно, цепляет, но проходить его до конца я не стал. Я больше занимался тем, что бегал, рандомно тыкал куда можно потыкать и смотрел, куда можно посмотреть. Есть юмор с популярным мемом про деньги, есть озвучка (но не всего), а ещё здесь встречаются загадки — например, про то, как достать деньги из шкатулки с котиками. Котики! Залог успеха любой игры. Кстати, это первая игра, где меня отпиздил куст и какашка! Это инновация, которая достойна получить признание общественности. Только подумайте: обычно вас лупят всякие кибердемоны, спецназ, аномалии и прочие слабые явления из других игр, а тут... вам наваляло г***! Можно даже похвастаться этим своим детям, если они, конечно, есть. Я не знаю, кому это может зайти, и вряд ли это вообще можно назвать полноценной игрой, учитывая, что в стиме есть ужасы и похлеще. Покупать это я явно не рекомендую, даже бесплатно.

накатил эту дичь ради приколов и не пожалел ни разу это концентрат чернухи и юмора про житуху обычного мужика из глубинки который поднимается с самого дна сдавая бутылки и дерясь на районе сюжет подается с такой самоиронией что местами реально ржешь в голос а местами грустно от узнаваемости ситуаций боевка кулаками простенькая но атмосферу это не портит минус в том что оптимизация местами хромает и графон на любителя но за такую смешную цену и разряд эмоций это того стоит

I would like to start this review by saying, if you can understand Russian, I would actually recommend this game at the price of $0.74, and I'll explain my reasoning for that later on in this review. However, otherwise, I can't honestly recommend this game. The translation is so incredibly bad that it almost feels like a joke. No joke, the word "eggs" is translated into "testicles" half the time. Granted, maybe that was an intentional joke, but that just feels like a crap translation job rather than a joke. Even worse, much of the game is just arbitrarily not translated. There are parts of dialogue paths and UI popups that are just not translated for no apparent reason either, and the achievements are not translated at all. When things are translated, they also make no sense half the time. So, basically, of the entire script of the game, only like 50% of it is understandable if you don't know Russian. Even the SETTINGS MENU isn't fully translated. I wouldn't be so harsh about this if the game's script wasn't so incredibly small. I'm pretty sure the entire script of this game is less than 1,000 words, even when including graffiti and signage that's in Russian, UI, dialogue, settings, promotional videos, achievements, and whatever other categories I may have forgotten. You could pay a guy who is fluent in Russian and English a relatively meager amount of money to spend a few hours making a high quality translation. Without a proper translation, any attempt at humor doesn't even exist. As I said earlier, if you CAN understand Russian, I would actually recommend this game if you buy it when it's on sale. Apparently, it has a lot of references to Russian culture and memes and slang, so I imagine someone who knows Russian would like those things. When it's actually legible, I imagine it won't be such a slog to get through the game either. On the actual gameplay and world itself, it's honestly not terrible. Well, by the standards of regular games, it is, but I mean for a joke indie game released on steam for a couple of bucks, or even less than a dollar on sale. There's secrets that are actually somewhat fun to find, that involve parkour or going into areas one wouldn't expect you to go to. The game is compact, which is good because low quality meme games should not be a long undertaking. That being said, the game could be more compact. There don't need to be 2 big areas. Either halve the size of both areas and keep them separate or just combine both areas into a smaller area. There doesn't need to be a whole separate place for a grocery store and garden. If you just used every door in the apartments area, you would only need one section of apartments, and you could put the grocery store where the other apartments once were. Thus, there is less annoying backtracking and exploring, and the game has less bloat. This game did not need to be longer than 30 minutes to complete and 1 hour to get all achievements. That aside, I did somewhat enjoy collecting empty bottles and whatever other items you could find. The combat isn't good, and while I certainly didn't expect it to be, I'd appreciate if it could be a little more complex than simply running behind an enemy and hitting them a few times (when you go behind an enemy, they don't even try turning around to be able to hit you). Also, if you load in a save, the bullies always seem to respawn in the alleyway, even though they shouldn't be there, which literally just soft locks you. Luckily, you can just jump over them if you sprint jump (though it will likely take a few tries), but that's an extremely problematic and game-breaking glitch, and not everyone would be able to find that solution. To elaborate, the bullies stand between the two major areas, and that alley is the only way to go from one to the other. If you load a save from the area behind the bullies, they will be there when they normally shouldn't be, which is a problem because, if you talk to them from behind, they'll de…